I had the absolute pleasure of meeting beautiful, little Maddy Allison last week. Maddy is 5 months old here, approximately 1 month younger than Eva would be. Looking into Maddy’s gorgeous, little blue eyes felt like I was looking into Heaven. She is perfect! 💗🙏🏽

It took me 5 months to find the courage to meet Maddy. I naturally had a strong desire to meet her shortly after she was born but I was afraid seeing her would trigger some painful emotions. By God’s amazing grace, the moment I saw Maddy my heart instantly filled with love; there was no room for fear! And holding her gave me a renewed sense of hope. Why did I wait so long?!!

Spending time with Maddy was a bit surreal. I tried to imagine myself mothering Eva at 5 months old. I wondered what kind of mother I would be by now. Ashley, Maddy’s mama, made everything look SO EASY! I wondered how Eva would look at me, how much she would weigh, how often she would smile, how vocal she would be, how many naps she would take each day, if I’d still be breastfeeding her and how changing her diaper would be. There are many things about mothering that I’m still very much looking forward to the next time around.🙏🏽😍💟

Maddy’s amazing mama, Ashley, and I met in our “Mamas y Bebes” class while we were both pregnant and we instantly became close friends.

“Ashley, thank you for all your amazing love and support. As a mama who was full of the same pregnancy hormones, you knew precisely how to (literally) hold my hand through planning and attending Eva’s funeral. Since then, you’ve been like a sister to me. I will always cherish how much detail and love you put into tailoring Eva’s Heaven dress so she’d look her best to be with God. Thank you so much!”